Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Sophie passed away this past February after 15 years - we were together longer than I have known my husband. She travelled with me from Portland, Oregon to Herzogenaurach, Germany and finally to Lewes, UK.
After I came back from the vet (alone), I could not believe how quiet the house was. For days afterwards, my husband and I sat across from each other in silence.......looking at one another, blinking occasionally. We realised, we had never been with each other alone.......it had always been the three of us.

The reason I am bringing this up is that lately, I have been seeing a black shape now and again out of the corner of my eye. A few times I have almost turned and said hello. Then I realise.......she is gone......she is not there......it couldn't possibly be her coming up the stairs.
I thought this would happen right afterwards......but all there was was silence and emptyness.
It isn’t a bad feeling or a scary feeling....it just is
But then it is a little deflating......I think my shoulders might sag a tiny bit when I realise nothing is there.......or its just a pile of clothes......or a creaking floor board of a very old house

Why now?

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